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Rosie: "Can I pet your baby?"
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(Conversation during a family home evening lesson)
Grandma Rose: "What about your dress makes it modest?"
Rory: "You know, 'cause it's not all boobs and stuff."
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(During a tutoring session with my nephew as he was reciting the Preamble)
Jess: "...provide for the common defense, promote the general conference..." (instead of 'promote the general welfare')
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(After dropping something in sacrament meeting)
Rory: "Oh s*@t!" (oops....)
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(Conversation between my niece and nephew in the car)
Seth: "Rory, why aren't you copying me?"
Rory: "Because I didn't want to exturb you."
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(While taking a shower with his mom and staring up at her in awe with adoring eyes)
(While taking a shower with his mom and staring up at her in awe with adoring eyes)
Elias: "Mom, your bosoms are SO big."
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My nephew Jacob was put in a time out and was screaming and crying in the time-out room. All of a sudden he screamed out, "Help! Help!" Danielle, (his mom) upon hearing this urgent plea and thinking something was horribly wrong, went into the room to check on Jacob. As she opened the door & peered in he whined, "I want cupcakes! I want cupcakes!" (His time-out had nothing to do with cupcakes). Danielle rolled her eyes and shut the door.
(Hope I got that right, Danielle :)
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(After getting in trouble for scratching her aunt's car with a rock)
Becky: "Rory, what did you do to Leanna's car?"
Rory: (looking up from her coloring book and pausing) "Scratch."
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Wendy: "Rosie, where are your panties?"
Rosie: (matter-of-factly) "They're peep-ded." (meaning, they're peed in).
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Danielle: (pointing to a picture of Jesus) "Who's this Jacob?"
Jacob: "Jesus. Jesus Woodbury."
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Sylvie: "Mom, why are mom's bums so humongous?"
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Rory: "Mom, your bum is bigger than ANYTHING."
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and the mother of all funny comments......
My 5 year old (at the time) nephew Elias was talking to me & Jordan while at a family dinner party. He was rambling on about Spiderman, and Jordan & I both noticed that he all of a sudden started adjusting himself in the bum area. In mid-sentence, he interrupts himself and says..."You know, sometimes my bum sticks together, and I have to split it."
Classic.
Oh, I am cracking up so bad I have tears streaming down my face!! That last one is great!! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou have to print those in each of their journals for their grandchildren to read! By the time they are perfect grandma's and grandpa's nobody will believe that they said those things! Way to funny!
ReplyDeleteI love that Jesus is a Woodbury. lol
ReplyDeleteok you're right--the last comment was the BEST about splitting the bum. literally made me crack up right when I read it! so funny!
ReplyDeletealso enjoyed rory's sacrament meeting swearing. so who's the example? becky or glenn??? hee hee. my poor kid is going to have to go to church with a muzzle on!
Ha! Those are so funny. Way to document them for the family. Although, I doubt Elias is going to want to claim his quote in the future!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, Ashley, I am laughing my head off here in the little dark laundry room. Those are so hilarious. I need to save these to read on a bad day.
ReplyDeleteHere's some more......
ReplyDeleteRory and Seth came in from kindergarten with "I voted today" stickers on their chest. I asked who they voted for.
Seth: John McCain
Rory: Not Mobama cuz he kills babies.
And Brucie runs around the house lately doing karate back kicks while saying "hoo cha." The other night I told him it was time to go bed. He said, "okay, just one more hoo cha." Then he back kicked the chair and said, "hoo cha."
And I'll never forget he time when I told Joseph that Grandma got in a car wreck on her way home from taking Missy to the MTC. He looked at me perplexed and said, "Why is the sea empty?"
And speaking of butts, when Joseph was 3 he had diarrhea one day and he came out of the bathroom and said, "Mom, my poop is all slishery." He used to make up the best words.
Okay, one more and I'll stop.......Some attorneys from Rod's firm were over one Saturday afternoon and were sitting on our couch (wearing shorts). Elias walked in naked (he was 2 and potty training). He tried to walk by them but the couch and the coffee table were a litte close together and as he passed he said, "oops, my penis touched your leg." Neither attorney had children and the one just said, "awkward." Moments later Anna walked in holding a mouse by its tail and said, "Mom, look what I found in the garage!"
I wish that I had a book of everything they say that is funny. Renee Cook used to call them "Curtisms," after her son Curtis, who used to say the funniest things. Curtis is the same age as Sam and one day in second grade the kids had to stand up and say what they wanted to be when they grow up. Curtis said, "I want to be Sam Woodbury when I grow up."
Oh man, those are so funny Leslie! Thanks for adding these! By the way, I want to be Sam Woodbury when I grow up too :)
ReplyDeletehey ash, yeah, you can email that food storage thing to me if you have the chance! that would be great! thanks!
ReplyDeleteGet the paramedics, I am about to "split" a gut. Can we use any of those for campaign ads when one of you decides to run for office? A good campaign always needs some humor.
ReplyDeleteWell, Rory is quite colorful, eh? Jared came home from kindergarten on the day of the vote and also spurted out the Obama kills babies. Later it came out the Rory is the one who told him that. I was worried that the teachers were saying things!
ReplyDeleteI love Leslie's story about Elias and the attorneys. I was crying even before I read it to Chris. He said "this better be good" and luckily it was. Thanks for a good laugh!
More posts! More posts!
ReplyDelete